Monday, November 26, 2012

Paleo Thanksgiving

A traditional Thanksgiving is a feast with a focus on overindulgence, three times as much food as anyone could eat and football.  Our Thanksgiving only had one of those- tons of food!  All healthy Paleo foods!  I cooked up a 23 pound (larger then my daughter) turkey and it was a masterpiece!  Absolutely perfect!  My husband could not get enough and I actually think his love for me grew from the perfection of this turkey.  No joke.  Perfect turkey= undying affection and devotion. I also tried my hand at some Paleo pies- one pumpkin one pecan.  Both were okay, but definitely need more experimenting.

Does your love grow with perfect turkey?

I've steadily been losing weight since I started gluten-free and have only continued to lose by transitioning to paleo and then starting CrossFit.  I'm finding myself caring a lot less about a number on the scale and a lot more about my performance at CrossFit and my general overall health.  I've been emotionally stable for quite a while- this is a great success!  We are going through a lot of change as we are selling our house and have bought a new one- so I am in house-cleaning purgatory, but still I am finding myself happy and content even with the chaos surrounding me.

For that I am thankful.

Thursday, September 20, 2012


It's awesome.

I feel like that is about all I need to say.

I went to the "Introduction to CrossFit" workout/intro last night.  I was probably more nervous then I've been in a looooong time.  When I first got there I feel very overwhelmed, but that feeling soon dissipated.  The moves were hard, but they did an excellent job of coaching and assisting.  The hardest part for me, aside from muscle fatigue was remembering to COUNT! Seriously- I'm incapable of counting while concentrating on anything else!

Today I'm sore.  Like stairs are my nemesis.  And considering I had to take two 2 year olds to dance class and bend over to change their clothes and shoes (of course I looked like I doing the worlds slowest squat- one that I might not come back from) I'm doing okay.  I'm already looking forward to going to my next workout.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


I have a vision for myself.  I think everyone does- some more realistic then others.  I don't have any crazy expectations for myself.  I simply what to feel healthy, look healthy, and live healthy.  I feel I'm doing that and I need to continue to do that to reach this vision. I want that vision to be staring at me in the mirror someday.

I have my "Introduction to Crossfit" class/workout tomorrow.  Honestly I'm nervous/scared/excited/anxious about it all.  I WANT this to be a place where I can truly commit to being healthy and find something I want to do in order to get there.  I WANT to find like-minded people- because frankly I am finding people who don't care about their/children/anyone's' health very hard to relate too!  I'm nervous I will feel like a failure, or not be able to do the movements (even modified).  I'm scared that I will seem disappointing to the other people there- that what I am is exactly what they don't want to be- hence working out so hard.  I'm scared that I will disappoint myself by giving up or giving in.  I'm scared of being watched while I fail.  I need some confidence, I need some hope for myself.

I'm also excited about starting this experience because I really think that this might be something that I will enjoy and in that I will find my place. I really want to find 'that place'.

I've been Paleo for 2-3 months now.  I'm not sure I can ever go back.  I feel good physically about 95% of the time- which is crazy for me!  My clothes are literally FALLING off, my bras don't fit right anymore and I look like I borrowed someones (much too large) shirts!  I'm totally not used to this feeling.  I'm not sure how to process it at times.  People are starting to notice and comment- which always feels really good.  I am or I guess was used to being the 'fattest person in the room' but now I'm not always.  Sometimes, but not always!  That is crazy to me!

Monday, August 20, 2012


So I completed the 5K 101 as I discussed before, but I haven't been able to run an actual 5K!  I'm feeling very discouraged and stuck, so I reached out to the 5K101 Facebook Page.  Here is my question and the response:

I'm totally not ready for a partner- especially with the friend who commented because she is running 10Ks and Half-Marathons!  I would only bring her down!  I'm already self-conscience enough about running, to add someone else who looks like my workout is their warm-up would just be too much!  So now I'm going to re-start the 5K 101 program on Week 4 with a faster pace.  I'm having a hard time getting through the 'go outside' part.  I really don't want to. (Insert foot stomp like 2 year old).  I know I am judgmental and of course I hate feeling judged (go figure). Flailing my fat a$$ down the street would be my worst nightmare.  I'm not sure I will get over that. Maybe someday. For now I'm going to up my speed in the safety and privacy of my basement and see where that leads me...

Saturday, August 4, 2012

A hard week...

This week has been hard.  Overall I feel okay, though I don't think I am sleeping as well as I should be.  I'm planning on researching what may be causing that issue.  But anyways, this week I wanted to eat SUGAR and BREAD!  I guess I have reached the magical time when my body says "Enough" and craves the 'old ways'.  

I did not give in to temptation, as I have had more results in my weight, body, energy in the last 4 weeks then I have in the last 4 years!  I just can't turn my back on all the work I have done to feel well for a momentary craving (which is huge progress!).  I still lost weight this week, 0.8 pounds, given the challenge of this week, I'm proud of myself.

I've now finished the 5K 101 Program from Running Mate.  It was awesome and inspiring.  I can actually 'run' for 30 minutes without stopping!  I'm not sure where to go from here, mainly because I never thought I would get to 'here'.  I would like to add some weight training to my routine, now that I feel more confident in my physical self.  I'll update with what I decide to add in a later post.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Whatcha got Cookin'?

Week of July 30th- August 3rd 2012

This week's menu looks like this:
Monday: Cashew Crusted peach chicken (my own recipe)
Tuesday: Tex Mex Carnitas with Paleo Tortillas
Wednesday: Beef and Sweet Potato Hash
Thursday: Chicken Salad Wraps 
Friday: Crockpot Whole Chicken

Whatcha got cookin?

Saturday, July 28, 2012


You always hear people say that in order to truly become healthy, the changes you make need to become your lifestyle. 

I have heard this for years.  

I understand what people are saying, now.  Following Paleo has physically shown me the role food should play in your life.  You should eat when you are hungry, and stop before you get full, when you are satisfied.  If you are eating the 'right' foods, this is not a problem.  That entire concept is a breakthrough for me.  I always assumed I was one of those people who never felt full or satisfied with food. It has happened.  I can eat, and simply stop when my body tells me it is no longer hungry, my actual desire for food/to eat goes away!  I can't believe that this has happened, and how much food I probably ate in the past that was not nurturing my body, so it kept telling me to eat and eat and eat in a desperate search for nutrients.  

I like this feeling and this control.
I like the results of this eating lifestyle.
I like feeling healthy and balanced. 
I like this 'lifestyle'.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Whatcha got cookin?

Week of July 23-27th

I've decided to post my weekly dinner menu plan.  Mainly because I always plan, and I might as well share (assuming anyone ever reads this)

This weeks meals are:

Monday:  Pork Fried Rice 
Tuesday: Almond Strawberry Chicken
Wednesday: Paleo Bacon Meatloaf
Thursday: Lemon Dijon Grilled Chicken
Friday: Coconut Curry Chicken Nuggets

Generally on the weekends we eat leftovers or have dinner with the extended family, so I rarely plan weekends.

Whatcha got cookin?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Run, Run, Running

So I never thought I would actually get this far in a running program.  I'm on week 6 day 2 of my running program.  The workout is 5 min walk, 12 minute run, 3 minute walk, 12 minute run, 5 minute cool down.  I am honestly in shock that I have completed this.  I'm more committed to continue, not because I love running (which actually I really don't love running- but because I am finally seeing some positive results!  I've worked so hard in the past, and not had ANY progress in my weight/body composition/feelings.  I sigh in relief for the progress made, but I find myself apprehensive that it won't last.  I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and not make my thoughts a reality, but 90% of losing weight seems to be dealing with your head, not what is below it!  I'm keeping my fingers crossed (and by that I mean working my ass off and eating well) that this week I lose weight again.

Saturday, July 7, 2012


This week we went on vacation.  We went to a small town and stayed in a cabin, enjoying all that a trip such as that will offer.  I brought almost ALL of our food, as I am gluten free and my family still doesn't really understand what that is!  I ate carefully, if not sparingly at times because of day trips into town or not wanting to eat junk food.  I did not eat a s'more, have a glass of wine, or eat anything outside of my normal expectations- but I gained 1.4 pounds this week! UGH!  The mystery of my body has yet to be discovered, but that result can only be frustrating!  I'm still working on my running program- but I skipped one workout for the first time since starting, since it was 100 degrees outside at the cabin, it was the 4th of July and we had too many things going on- but I still regret skipping it.  It only leaves me with 'maybes'!  Maybe if I hadn't skipped I would have lost this week.  Maybe I didn't eat enough? Maybe, Maybe, maybe.  

I'm resolved to keep on keeping on, and not to let a little weight gain get in the way of all the other things I gained this week (memories with family, my son swimming, fishing on the lake, fireworks).  

Friday, June 22, 2012

Bumps in the road

So yesterday sucked!  I had such extreme exhaustion that I was willing to do ANYTHING to help!  After I ate lunch, I started feeling tired- just a little normal tired after a meal feeling.  Then as the afternoon progressed I continued to feel tired, then more tired, then exhausted.  I started to try to jack myself with sugar (I know GREAT IDEA) but hey I'm desperate!  When that caloric nightmare didn't help, I took a nap while my son watched a movie and my daughter had her nap.  I remember waking up occasionally and not having the strength to move or speak or anything- it was HORRIBLE.  When my husband came home I went strait to bed- and now is now, so 16 hours of sleep hopefully helps!  I think this could be a result of a few different things 1. In a vain hope to not be on anti-anxiety pills I stopped taking mine, and I think it either helps with fatigue or my anxiety is spiking in the night and I'm not sleeping well, leading to exhaustion. 2. Too little sleep + too much stress = exhausted 3. I am just exhausted and need to sleep/rest more.

Whatever the reason, I'm feeling better today, and am re-focused to get back on track.  I've been tracking my food and it seriously feels SO restrictive, I hate having everything I eat reflected in writing.  It was my secret comfort to not think about what I was eating, but in writing it down I can no longer ignore what I eat.  I'm not trying to keep my calories under a certain amount or anything, I'm just focusing on tracking.  This is a major challenge for me, but I'm going to keep working on it, day by day.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Road to Success!

"They" say the road to success is paved with many small success.  I'm obliged to agree with that statement.  So far I am on Week Three Day Two of a running program I never thought I would get this far in.  I have stayed gluten-free for 5 or is it 6 months- even though I've had 'flour affairs' on Pinterest (you know, when the people you follow post six billion images of fantastic looking desserts and you stare and them like women porn- yup!).  I struggle mainly with my energy.  I know that if I complete my workouts and eat clean/well that I will have more energy EVENTUALLY- the cycle/problem is when I am too tired to make good food or put on my workout clothes, needless to say actually workout!  I seem to have moderately found a way to break the exhausted cycle and step out into a different light.  I'm not saying that I haven't had to fight (I mean FIGHT) some crazy cravings, and had to get very realistic with myself about why I want to eat/not workout/ be a fat slob... but I am feeling better, more balanced and realistic in my goals and actually taking pride in my small successes!  Today's success- I finished my run on the treadmill even though: my son spilled 2 cups of water on the floor and was talking ENDLESSLY to me while I'm trying to concentrate on running, our dogs are running around like crazy people (perhaps sensing that I'm not paying attention), the housework is piling up, and I'm out of water- seriously- if that is not a success then I don't know what is!

Thursday, June 14, 2012


Why!?! I've just found a great flow, motivation, and plan, then I get sick. Seriously.  I'm feeling I'm over the worst- slept A LOT- my husband deserves a medal for picking up everything while I work on beating this cold/allergy/flu/rottenness.  I still managed to maintain my workout- I know I can hardly believe it either.  It was also the first time I have run with my husband in the vicinity.  He was working out in the basement while I was on the treadmill.  It was different, not what I had expected, but different.  I think as an overweight person I look at people far more judgmentally then most look at me- why? I'm not sure.  Maybe something having to do with hating to see yourself in others? Anyways, I wasn't as self-conscious as I thought I would be, and that alone is progress.  I can't hide on my basement treadmill forever, can I?

Monday, June 11, 2012


You know that feeling you get when you accomplish something you had previously not been able or willing to do?  Yup, that is today. I actually moved to week two of the 5K 101 Running Mate training.  I know, seems simple.  But it's not.  I have completed week one probably three times, but never tried week two.  Not even once.  My reasoning for not attempting week two have ranged from feeling I'm not ready, to simple quitting before I fail.  Not this time.  I won't say it was an easy hurdle to get over, because it wasn't.  I won't lie and say that week two was 'easy' or that I didn't struggle, but I made it!  Bad-ass!

How far I've come

"The number one reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have gotten"

This quote is the basis for today.  I am a worrier, someone who looks to the future-too far into the future, I stop myself because I can't see the finish line.  I'm working really hard to just simply keep going in my exercise and fitness goals.  I have set realistic goals and expectations, and I intend to follow them.  I find myself continually reminding myself of how far I have come, not just physically, but emotionally and in my relationship with food!  A little look back is inspiring.