Thursday, September 20, 2012


It's awesome.

I feel like that is about all I need to say.

I went to the "Introduction to CrossFit" workout/intro last night.  I was probably more nervous then I've been in a looooong time.  When I first got there I feel very overwhelmed, but that feeling soon dissipated.  The moves were hard, but they did an excellent job of coaching and assisting.  The hardest part for me, aside from muscle fatigue was remembering to COUNT! Seriously- I'm incapable of counting while concentrating on anything else!

Today I'm sore.  Like stairs are my nemesis.  And considering I had to take two 2 year olds to dance class and bend over to change their clothes and shoes (of course I looked like I doing the worlds slowest squat- one that I might not come back from) I'm doing okay.  I'm already looking forward to going to my next workout.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


I have a vision for myself.  I think everyone does- some more realistic then others.  I don't have any crazy expectations for myself.  I simply what to feel healthy, look healthy, and live healthy.  I feel I'm doing that and I need to continue to do that to reach this vision. I want that vision to be staring at me in the mirror someday.

I have my "Introduction to Crossfit" class/workout tomorrow.  Honestly I'm nervous/scared/excited/anxious about it all.  I WANT this to be a place where I can truly commit to being healthy and find something I want to do in order to get there.  I WANT to find like-minded people- because frankly I am finding people who don't care about their/children/anyone's' health very hard to relate too!  I'm nervous I will feel like a failure, or not be able to do the movements (even modified).  I'm scared that I will seem disappointing to the other people there- that what I am is exactly what they don't want to be- hence working out so hard.  I'm scared that I will disappoint myself by giving up or giving in.  I'm scared of being watched while I fail.  I need some confidence, I need some hope for myself.

I'm also excited about starting this experience because I really think that this might be something that I will enjoy and in that I will find my place. I really want to find 'that place'.

I've been Paleo for 2-3 months now.  I'm not sure I can ever go back.  I feel good physically about 95% of the time- which is crazy for me!  My clothes are literally FALLING off, my bras don't fit right anymore and I look like I borrowed someones (much too large) shirts!  I'm totally not used to this feeling.  I'm not sure how to process it at times.  People are starting to notice and comment- which always feels really good.  I am or I guess was used to being the 'fattest person in the room' but now I'm not always.  Sometimes, but not always!  That is crazy to me!